Thursday, September 30, 2010

Re: [fast5] Help.....please do not be nice !

 

Punishment (or being mean!) rarely works as a motivator. Human beings typically stay motivated because they get rewarded by something! I'm not ruthless or mean even to my kids, but I do work hard to get them going in the right direction and it's worked pretty darn well if I do say so myself (people keep saying how "well behaved" they are!). I don't harangue them, but I do put simple structures in place so they get rewarded for small steps.


So you might want to just ignore how "bad" (or stupid, selfish, lazy, or whatever) you think you are, and start thinking about some really cool goal you want to meet. And write it down, post it on the fridge, say it as a mantra. You go girl! You totally rock for getting up and trying this, today!

Or if you are going to start Monday, then start Monday. Every day you meet your goal, put a star on a calendar (it works, esp. those little stick on stars you got as a kid: somewhere we still have a little kid brain). Don't use "weight" as a goal, because it fluctuates in ways that aren't directly controllable by you. You can't control your weight. You CAN control what and when you eat.

When there is a social issue involved though, I've found salads work. It's a holdover from my Warrior Diet days ... raw vegies don't really send your blood sugar in weird directions to make you hungry later, and no one thinks twice of someone ordering a salad for lunch these days. For business lunches, I can't actually just sit there and eat nothing, and clients aren't really wanting to hear about my dietary issues.



On Thu, Sep 30, 2010 at 2:09 AM, Lesley Taylor <lesleytaylor6112@yahoo.com> wrote:


Thank you for your reply Nikki.  I agree with you totally about how this is down to us.  I am amazed at the years of dieting and self sabotage that I have put upon myself - when things start to go in the right direction I just go right in there and blow it!  A counsellor once told me that I am acutally fearful of losing weight and that I use my fat as a form of protection.  I have acknowledged this for many years now but still don't know how to get over the hurdle of losing weight and not being scared to do so.
 
Tomorrow I will be spending 4 days with a group of very close friends and as much as I know that they would completely understand if I were to explain to them that I only eat once a day, I will still put "starting again" off until after the weekend.  There is absoloutley no reason why I can not start now......this very minute.  This is where I can see that I am just very selfish and want everything my own way, I expect rewards for not trying and then spend weeks wallowing in my own self pity and writing to a chat group to justify what I am "not" doing. 
 
Maybe all you fast 5 groupers will do me a great big favour and tell me a few home truths.......no pity please.......be ruthless!!!!


 

 

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