Thursday, September 30, 2010

Re: [fast5] Help.....please do not be nice !

 

Thank you for your reply Nikki.  I agree with you totally about how this is down to us.  I am amazed at the years of dieting and self sabotage that I have put upon myself - when things start to go in the right direction I just go right in there and blow it!  A counsellor once told me that I am acutally fearful of losing weight and that I use my fat as a form of protection.  I have acknowledged this for many years now but still don't know how to get over the hurdle of losing weight and not being scared to do so.
 
Tomorrow I will be spending 4 days with a group of very close friends and as much as I know that they would completely understand if I were to explain to them that I only eat once a day, I will still put "starting again" off until after the weekend.  There is absoloutley no reason why I can not start now......this very minute.  This is where I can see that I am just very selfish and want everything my own way, I expect rewards for not trying and then spend weeks wallowing in my own self pity and writing to a chat group to justify what I am "not" doing. 
 
Maybe all you fast 5 groupers will do me a great big favour and tell me a few home truths.......no pity please.......be ruthless!!!!

From: Niki Barker <nicollbarker@hotmail.co.uk>
To: fast5@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, September 29, 2010 4:10:19 PM
Subject: RE: [fast5] Been away too long........

 

This is exactly where I am at.  I have a week off work this week so that's my excuse until next Monday.  I have recently put on 7 pounds which I am so cross with myself about as I have maintained my weight for nearly 2 years.  Now I've started eating all day again I've felt so sluggish that I haven't been exercising or anything, just stuffing myself no matter how full I feel, no wonder I've put on 7 pounds, would probably be more except I suspect I've lost some of the muscle I worked so hard to build up.  I know I will lose it again when I start back on Fast5 and, like you, I really want to start, but obviously not badly enough as I keep finding an excuse as to why I should eat today and start again tomorrow.  I keep telling myself how fab I felt not eating in the day and how much energy I had.  There is so much temptation at home at the moment which is why I'm thinking start on Monday, I really, really want to start so why the hell can't I?
 
Very frustrated with myself.  Not looking for answers as I know it is all down to me and I need to get back into the right mindset but maybe putting it down in words will help make me focus....Come on girl, you've done it before for ages, it was so easy.
 
Grrrrrrr  Niki
 

To: fast5@yahoogroups.com
From: lesleytaylor6112@yahoo.com
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2010 22:22:31 +0000
Subject: [fast5] Been away too long........

 
Why did I go away? I went on holiday and abondened my fast 5 plan which was going so well. When I returned home I just could not seem to get back on track and have now been 5 weeks eating all day - it all seems so chaotic - out of control - self sabbotage. I keep telling myself to start again tomorrow and then first thing in the morning I tell myself "tomorrow" and I eat. We are spending this weekend with friends so there is yet another excuse to start next week. I wonder why something that worked so well for me obviously scares me. I am so angry with myself.



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