Hi Steve how are you doing? Finding things to do depends a lot on where you life. When you live in a predominantly african american neighborhood, the things you may want to do are limited. The majority of neighborhoods like that may have Basketball courts every few blocks, handball walls or courts, and baseball football fields in the parks, but every ethnicity is different. Here, soccer, tennis, swimming, ping pong, darts, jogging, bike riding, and things are not desired by anyone. In the more affluent caucasian communities, people have access to Nature clubs, all sorts of things from darts, ping pong, water rafting, swimming, skiing, and lots more.
When people speak of finding Jobs and such and they make it sound easy. Yet they would have to live in Quens County one of the boroughs in NYC where things are practiced here that are not elsewhere. Zip code discrimination is highly practiced here. When searching jobs, doctors, schools etc... the moment they see your zip code and realize what area or community you are from, your application will be ignored, placed on the bottom or discarded. When seeking Drs being a minority is one issue and having medicaid also removes you from the most qualified Drs here in NY and you get clinical treatment and not Hospital treatment. In Queens county we have an issue that no other county in the United States has. More than 150 Ethnicities are scattered in the county and more than 138 different languages are spoken here unlike any other locality in the United States. Queens is where anyone coming to America will be first. Both Airports LaGuardia and Kennedy are here in Queens. I'm only 5 mins from Kennedy Airport. In NYC because of 9 million people residing, when you see a Dr you're just a number on the list, not seen as an individual. They have to rush through so many patients they can't spend much time with you. Even the Epilepsy Counselors that are supposed to be counseling me, they too rush through so many people that you only get a short 30 appt every two weeks apart so when they see you today they have no idea of the last thing said at the last meeting. Its not helping one bit. Here, your Life depends upon where you go and whom you associate with. Every real estate person considers your ethnicity and then shifts you to the neighborhood where your people are living. They don't belive in the melting pot theory, NYC is a salad bowl where every piece is separate from the other, and the so called treatments, and way they claim to care about you is like the salad dressing in a salad bowl, where not every vegetable piece gets covered with dressing and some pieces don't get touched at all. This area where I am now, back in the 60s was totally Jewish Irish and Italian, and 90% Catholic. Then in the 80s it changed to African American and partially catholic with a Big influx of Lutheran, Baptist, Adventist,and other denominations. Then in the year 2000 to present the high influx of Middle east folks have elimiated half the african americans. Now in this area they are from Pakistan, Indonesia, Bangladesh, and several other countries that do not care to make a full transition to being american so they stay the way they were, stay in close proximity to each other and are not socialble to those in the area like my family who were here since the 1950s. We are here adn my family seems to have each other, 35 of us, as the ones to communicate with here. All of my friends are in Other states. I've joined sites, and have traveled to 16 states in the last 8 years. I'll be moving to Plano TX in about a month so NY issues won't be a thought. Plano has epilepsy resources in Dallas-Ft Worth area that I can benefit from. At my age, I belong to internet clubs but when it comes to my loving cats most people in cat clubs are younger than me. I'm in the clubs but don't post much, just enjoy all the photos the people post. I wish clubs were divided by Age groups. Just like dating sites you are separated by age category. In the sites I'm on when I log on, it automatically shows me matches between 50-55 years of age since I'm 53. If I wanted to extend that I could from 45 to 55. But to communicate with those whom are a generation behind me communication would not flow too smoothly because I'm not too hip streetwise, and unlike most folks Im' not a Pleasure seeker, a lover of Entertainment, or like to Play. Life is way too serious for Humor to take hold of me.
A few words that describe me are: Doing things independantly, researching, investigating, inventing, writing, creating, designing, musical expression, probing into problems, Studying. These are not exactly group activities. I seem to do my Best works when I do it alone. With all the friends of mine on the internet they see me as a few called me "a walking encyclopedia" and some see me mainly as a Pet person, some see me and only know me as the Landscaper, some see me as the writer, some as the Prayer Warrior, which is my most prominent trait as founder of Servants of the Lord Ministry (if you need that site location I'll give it to you) I get prayer requests by internet, and I send responses, and I also forward the prayer requests to other National Prayer sites. The one subject I like to discuss the most is not most peoples most read book. The bible, I have more than 30 each different, I have purchased more than 300 books from christian bookstores, and I will travel across the states to Ministries such as the Promise Keepers. I know I'm the oddball in this site when you place my personal resume of interests next to everyone elses, but then I've always strived to be separate, different, and opposite most people so that I can be known as the north star in that midnight sky.
When in school the grade "A" is a very low mark to me. I strive for "A+" and "E for Excellence" I rarely meet people as deeply serious as I am about things, and in school the only guys who were on my level of interests were Asian and Indian. Most Americans are so much pleasure seekers that seeking wisdom is not often. People say Knowledge is power, and I highly disagree. Education is the system through which you learn. Knowledge is what you have gained through Education, however, Wisdom is the proper usage of that knowledge so that it not only benefits yourself but others as well.
Sorry for being so long winded, but it just had to come out today since I wasn't on yesterday. I'm a loner by choice avoiding large groups, but can deal with others one on one, or in small groups, where its less chaotic. I see Einstien, Picasso, Beethoven, and other Greats and realize they stayed Buried and focused in their passions and were not social butterflies, and thats how they rose above the influence of others and actually became the influence of others.
I live with these famous quotations in mind:
"If better is possible, then good was not good enough"
Some people see things as they are and ask why? Some dream things that never were and then ask why not?"
"Well done is better than well said."
"Every job is a self portrait of the one who did it. Autography your work with Excellence."
Will speak to you and the others later steve. I appreciate everyones concern, and I am not against anyone, I just have to let it be known where I'm at, what I'm working with and what kind of person that I am. Far from ordinary, with interests that are not exactly common.
Housekat / Kevin Knight
"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail behind."
--- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
>
> Hi Kevin,
>
> I was NEVER good at socializing! I mean it!!! BUT, finding groups with my same interests where socializing concerning those interests made me feel more comfortable, helped me to feel more on equal ground if that makes sense? In a general group I really felt(still do)out of place because of my weak ability to stay in group conversations besides not able to absorb information spoken about in a group.
>
> With all the interests you enjoy, what types of clubs and groups have you joined to be with others with those same interests. I've always enjoyed tennis, so have joined with many different leagues to play with so many different people. I really got into ping pong so looked into park district recereation centers where many have ping pong tables with regular days and times when people meet to play, talk, get to know each other. I enjoyed it more spending the time there with people more than playing ping pong. When injured I went there to be outside home to be up and out. I used to bicycle allot. I looked into bicycle clubs where both men and women enjoy bike riding. Different people joined at different times each riding at different speeds and distances. I enjoyed juggling years ago, so looked up juggling clubs in the Chicago area. That was another good way to enjoy what I enjoy with others. Believe me, being face to face with others with those same interests helped me allot more than simply talking by voice. People always told me to do things with others but couldn't relate to why it made me feel so out of place. BUT, being face to face with others with the same interests made it so much more comfortable and was able to make some friends there to see more.
>
> In the different interests you have, have you looked for clubs or groups with those same interests? I can only imagine how many cat clubs and pet clubs there must be near where you live! Have you looked up cat groups in Yahoo? I'm sure there are allot of them there! All your different interests must have local clubs. How about local churches with your same interests? Maybe you could be with others face to face there with others you can relate with. Wouldn't that be a way of meeting others near you?
>
> Its great having you in the group! We all could use your support so much! Stay involved here, hopefully with your experiences will help you help us getting through everyday life. Hey, why not email people in the group as a way to make friends here! And of course getting friends here will be a good way to talk with others on IM who like you have epilepsy! Looking forward to read your responses to posts in the group. Take care, keep a smile on your face!
>
> Steve
>
> --- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
> >
> > The people I speak to on IM have other disabilities: Fibromyalgia, Neuropathy, Diabetes, Osteo arthritis, Rhumatoid arthritis, Lupus, vision problems, Thyroid problems, Weight issues, but none have epilepsy other than those here in this group. One of my friends who joined this group is not Epileptic but has other issues, but because she is a good friend of mine who really cares, she gets involved in everything that is about epilepsy.
> >
> > I am not good at socializing like most of you. I usually do things according to Interst, Topic or group. I communicate with people who share the same passions. I have a Ministry called Servants of the Lord, and I communicate a lot with others who are in other ministries or work in christian bookstores or prayer groups. Or others in Animal rights groups and especially groups about Cats, etc..
> >
> > People with epilepsy relate to me in similar ways or the same as others. I usually just grab hold of people with the same interests. I read in one book about friendship that friends connect based upon common interests, so I think of my interests and then search for people who like the same things.
> >
> > Housekat / Kevin Knight
> >
> > --- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
> > >
> > > Hi Kevin,
> > >
> > > Just wondering, of all the friends you mention about on IM who you talk with, how many of them have epilepsy like you and many of us here in the group? Also, simply because of epilepsy, do you notice people with epilepsy relate to you any differently as compared to people who don't have epilepsy. I'm not talking about anything as far as BBW like you worded it. I'm simply talking about others of any size or sex who like yourself have epilepsy. There are 3,000,000 of us with epilepsy in just the United States. Take care, keep a smile on your face.
> > >
> > > Steve
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > The only problem here is that all my life, I never befriended Slim,Slender,
> > > > Thus when it comes to friends all of my friends are actually BBWs of whom I've met at many BBW sites on the computers and clubs in the City. 170 people on my yahoo messenger, all BBWs. What has been and what would become a problem for me if one woman was to settle and want me, would be that unlike other guys who have male friends, mine are all Woman. And I'm a very supportive friend. You can complain, Vent, or even if you wake up in the middle of the night with an issue,I'm here to help, even if I have to go out of state to reach the person.
> > > > You may ask why don't I have men friends? I have yet to meet any man who shares my interests. Calligraphy, CATS, BBWs, Landscaping, etc... Maybe that also has something to do with growing up in a mostly african american community where their interests are limited to mostly sports,music, and not much else. I'm a mixture of Irish,Scottish, Cherokee and Choctaw indian. Through the years I've struggled to figure out what my true identity is. Most people will say african american, some say mixed, but all I can say is mixed. Both grandfathers are Irish and Scottish both grandmas are Indian. So that has no connection with the continent africa at all. I am just introverted thats all and I call the people I know day and night. some conversations go as long as 6 hrs. A lot of the women I help seem to want me as more than a friend, but then I can't just cross everyone off just because of one person. Thats why I'm always reading books about relationships
> > > >
> > > > Housekat / Kevin Knight
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > --- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
> > > > >
> > > > > Hi Kevin,
> > > > >
> > > > > There are epilepsy support groups just about everywhere, at least in
> > > > > the US. Go through your local Epilepsy Foundation, neurology clinic
> > > > > or Epilepsy Advocate to find what is close to you.
> > > > >
> > > > > Women are also afraid of rejection, as rejection can come from either
> > > > > gender, you know:) You have to be willing to take risks in order to
> > > > > find love. It might be easier to stay in your home alone, but I don't
> > > > > think it could be as fulfilling as having a lifelong partner, someone
> > > > > who loves you just for who you are. I've had my heart broken a few
> > > > > times, but I've also been with my husband for 26 years (Wow! half of
> > > > > my life now), not counting the years we dated. We've been through all
> > > > > kinds of problems, but also through some wonderful times together,
> > > > > and we know we have each other to depend on, no matter what. I'll
> > > > > give you that many people never have a solid marriage like that, but
> > > > > since I think our reason for being here is to love and be loved, I
> > > > > think that loving people in whatever capacity one can is the best
> > > > > thing one can do, both for our own personal fulfillment and for others.
> > > > >
> > > > > You asked what woman would accept a man who has many friends? I would
> > > > > and do. My three daughters all do, as do their boyfriends and
> > > > > spouses. Pretty much every one I know who is in a relationship also
> > > > > has at least several friends. Sometimes the couples have friends in
> > > > > common and do things together as a couple with these friends.
> > > > > Sometimes, like my husband, the guy has his geek friends, hunting
> > > > > buddies, fishing buddies, golfing buddies, etc. and the woman is just
> > > > > really happy that she doesn't have to feign interest in a passion
> > > > > that she doesn't share. And that goes both directions. Say you want
> > > > > to go shoe shopping or clothes shopping and just watch a guy's eyes
> > > > > roll. Either that, or they get that deer in the headlights look, as
> > > > > they imagine waiting for hours while holding their girl's purse
> > > > > outside the fitting room.:) We need a number of people in our lives,
> > > > > not just one, although that one person may be central to our
> > > > > happiness. In fact, I would say that any relationship where one
> > > > > person doesn't want their partner to have other friends is a very
> > > > > unhealthy relationship. You frequently see that in abusive
> > > > > relationships, for example.
> > > > >
> > > > > That said, I was suggesting that you get out in the community in some
> > > > > way and make some connections with other people. That in itself can
> > > > > be rewarding, and it may ultimately lead to some good friendships and
> > > > > perhaps even to finding one special person. I have one suggestion,
> > > > > given your talent for growing things. In my area, people are really
> > > > > getting into the sustainability movement, eating locally, etc. You
> > > > > could grow vegetables to donate to your local food pantry, get a
> > > > > community garden started with other interested people, or something
> > > > > along those lines. A group of us are working with our local Unitarian
> > > > > church, who has given us space for a garden on their property. We are
> > > > > growing veggies with the intent of donating them to our food pantry,
> > > > > so that those with lower incomes can also enjoy some tasty, fresh,
> > > > > locally grown produce. There are also programs where they are
> > > > > teaching people in the city to do gardening to supplement their food,
> > > > > either in containers, in their yards, even on their rooftops or
> > > > > garage rooftops. I think this kind of thing is very exciting and
> > > > > something you'd be really good at. If you are interested in hearing
> > > > > more, contact me and I'll send you some links, etc.
> > > > >
> > > > > You sound somewhat content with your situation, but I think that if
> > > > > you were truly satisfied with being solo with your pets and home, you
> > > > > most likely wouldn't have sought out people in the form of this list.
> > > > > Feel free to tell me that I'm wrong if you disagree:) It sounds like
> > > > > you have some wonderful talents with regard to gardening and
> > > > > landscape design, and that would make a great part or full-time
> > > > > business for you if you were interested in doing so. You are
> > > > > intelligent, witty and have a lot going for you. Not every woman
> > > > > measures a man by stereotypical ideas of masculinity, or looks for
> > > > > perfection. It's just a coincidence, but I've dated a man who was
> > > > > deaf in one ear and my husband is blind in one eye. Those things
> > > > > don't matter one jot. What matters is that they were(are) funny,
> > > > > intelligent, and warm men who give from their hearts. Gosh, I'm
> > > > > suddenly feeling really sentimental.
> > > > >
> > > > > Hugs from your friend,
> > > > > Tammy
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
>
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