Hello Erin,
Have been diagnosed and undiagnosed with seizures. My heart goes out to you that this boyfriend is embarassed to be seen in public with you. Consider what actually is depression and what is sadness or something else so you can care for yourself well. By all means, get good care of your depression if it is indeed depression.. investigate yourself.
One thing that has helped me is to care for yourself like you would a child of yours or a good friend. Sometimes, I have found, the best gift I can give people I care about, is the way in which I care for myself. Once I told my sister-in-law, it is your fault. When she asked what? I said that I buy myself flowers. You gave me the idea so sometimes I buy myself flowers remembering your idea. It helps to catch someone doing something right. Guys I know can be like that. They like to not have to figure out what they can do for us.
Can't help with the 'weird seizure nightmares' question. Do suffer from nightmares though.. but could have a bit to do with I have several sleep disorders as well. Won't advise about your boyfriend as I have one myself and he sometimes is a struggle..
It might be good that he tells you what happens; I wish people did that for me. When you dwell on what you are told, run what is said through the shame collander. What is not shame passes through and what is shame gets tossed away. Shaming comments are basically negative absolutes such as: 'you always never listen to me.' Consider what is embarrassment and what is humility. One can make you cringe whereas the other can be dealt with by your choice of action, for example: 'Well, we didn't expect that to happen. It is wonderful not to have a dull evening. Thanks for not calling the paramedics simply because my computer froze on a program.' .. To worry he is going to leave might be something he could use to manipulate you. Don't let someone do that to you. If he wants to go, let him. That is the best way to find out whether he is worthy of you. If he was cheating on you, would you stay? Hopefully not. Perhaps is similar to the same principle. A healthy guy
stays because you both want to be together and you both are better people for being together. (This is head knowledge...
I know what it is like to feel alone and wanted to make sure someone wrote you. Hugs
Sandy
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