Oh that is just so sad! I am sorry for that little kid.
When we had our daughter, my dh started the same thing, wanting her to clean her plate. He does not clean HIS plate: he stops eating when he's full. He is skinny. He skips meals too. I said "Look: do you really want to teach her to stuff herself past when she's full? Our country is full of fat people!". So we agreed: she could eat what she felt like eating. We let her choose her own portions, and if she didn't finish them, we pointed that out ("Looks like you took too much this time. Next time take less?").
Some days all she would eat was one piece of broccoli. But she wasn't anorexic or overly skinny, so I just ignored it. Also, she wasn't pigging out on candy. We always had candy around, and she ignored it. She would steal pieces of mango while I was slicing it (we played a game called "Mango Bandit"). She loved to hoard candy from Halloween and gifts, but it would go buggy before she actually ate any.
Anyway, she is 16 now and gorgeously athletic. Some days she pigs out: some days she doesn't eat much. It's basically intermittent fasting, I think, but at some intuitive level. I am so happy I dropped the 5-meals-a-day thing before she could remember. She is really proud that, if needed, she can go all day with no food and handle it: to her that is a kind of power, since everyone else she meets is a slave to food. She weighs 160 and it is all muscle.
I think for most kids, you can let them trust their instincts. And your parents should have allowed you to do that too. Eating something you don't want to eat is a kind of torture, and should not be practiced. Physically hurting a kid for not eating, that is just child abuse.
BTW, about "throwing food away". The Earth throws food away all the time. Every time a plant grows, and it is not eaten, it just rots and goes back into the cycle. Billions of tons of greens and roots are NOT eaten ... in the rainforest, in the prairie. Think of all the fish that die natural deaths and are not eaten. The stuff you eat ... that goes back into the cycle too. Whether or not a plant or animal passes through your digestive tract means very little to the universe in general or to the Earth in particular.
If you want to improve the Earth in particular, think about stuff like how you handle plastic garbage bags or plastic bottles. Buy locally. Give to Heifer International to help people "grow their own". And when you do Fast-5, you WILL be eating and buying less overall, so the bit that might be "wasted" in your learning curve is overall a good investment.
Anyway, look at the "big picture", not at the bit of food you couldn't eat. Your parents couldn't get past their own issues, but you can.
On Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 12:48 PM, Jump4Joy <joy2garden@yahoo.com > wrote:
Not only was I told about the starving children in Africa/India/China, my parents tried to force me to clean my plate (which they loaded up) by setting a timer and threatening me with a spanking with a 12-inch wooden paddle. The many welts and bruised fingers I received were a testament to my stubborness. They eventually gave up the spankings, but made me sit at the table for hours after dinner saying that I couldn't leave the table until my food was gone. Sadly, we didn't have a dog, so I became skilled at hiding food in my clothes and taking it apart and pushing it around on and under my plate.
It actually makes me a little happy to throw away "perfectly good" food (No wonder! Right?). One normal-eating tip is to dissect the food on your plate by only eating the best bits and tastes first, and then eat only until you're politely satisfied. What's left are the less-favorite parts and it's easy to throw them out because it looks unappealing. It helps to remember that your body is not a trash-bin. <smile>
Best, Joy
--- In fast5@yahoogroups.com , Lesley Taylor <lesleytaylor6112@...> wrote:
....which leads me to another thing that I need to
> work on. "Throwing food away" - I find it so difficult, and no my mother did
> not tell me about the starving children in Africa, and I was never forced to eat
> anything I did not want. I just find it so hard to throw away good food that is
> still edible. I keep practicing though, tears rolling down my face when the
> food hits the bottom of the bin.......I am sure it will get easier....everything
> else is.
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