Hi Kevin,
I was NEVER good at socializing! I mean it!!! BUT, finding groups with my same interests where socializing concerning those interests made me feel more comfortable, helped me to feel more on equal ground if that makes sense? In a general group I really felt(still do)out of place because of my weak ability to stay in group conversations besides not able to absorb information spoken about in a group.
With all the interests you enjoy, what types of clubs and groups have you joined to be with others with those same interests. I've always enjoyed tennis, so have joined with many different leagues to play with so many different people. I really got into ping pong so looked into park district recereation centers where many have ping pong tables with regular days and times when people meet to play, talk, get to know each other. I enjoyed it more spending the time there with people more than playing ping pong. When injured I went there to be outside home to be up and out. I used to bicycle allot. I looked into bicycle clubs where both men and women enjoy bike riding. Different people joined at different times each riding at different speeds and distances. I enjoyed juggling years ago, so looked up juggling clubs in the Chicago area. That was another good way to enjoy what I enjoy with others. Believe me, being face to face with others with those same interests helped me allot more than simply talking by voice. People always told me to do things with others but couldn't relate to why it made me feel so out of place. BUT, being face to face with others with the same interests made it so much more comfortable and was able to make some friends there to see more.
In the different interests you have, have you looked for clubs or groups with those same interests? I can only imagine how many cat clubs and pet clubs there must be near where you live! Have you looked up cat groups in Yahoo? I'm sure there are allot of them there! All your different interests must have local clubs. How about local churches with your same interests? Maybe you could be with others face to face there with others you can relate with. Wouldn't that be a way of meeting others near you?
Its great having you in the group! We all could use your support so much! Stay involved here, hopefully with your experiences will help you help us getting through everyday life. Hey, why not email people in the group as a way to make friends here! And of course getting friends here will be a good way to talk with others on IM who like you have epilepsy! Looking forward to read your responses to posts in the group. Take care, keep a smile on your face!
Steve
--- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
>
> The people I speak to on IM have other disabilities: Fibromyalgia, Neuropathy, Diabetes, Osteo arthritis, Rhumatoid arthritis, Lupus, vision problems, Thyroid problems, Weight issues, but none have epilepsy other than those here in this group. One of my friends who joined this group is not Epileptic but has other issues, but because she is a good friend of mine who really cares, she gets involved in everything that is about epilepsy.
>
> I am not good at socializing like most of you. I usually do things according to Interst, Topic or group. I communicate with people who share the same passions. I have a Ministry called Servants of the Lord, and I communicate a lot with others who are in other ministries or work in christian bookstores or prayer groups. Or others in Animal rights groups and especially groups about Cats, etc..
>
> People with epilepsy relate to me in similar ways or the same as others. I usually just grab hold of people with the same interests. I read in one book about friendship that friends connect based upon common interests, so I think of my interests and then search for people who like the same things.
>
> Housekat / Kevin Knight
>
> --- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
> >
> > Hi Kevin,
> >
> > Just wondering, of all the friends you mention about on IM who you talk with, how many of them have epilepsy like you and many of us here in the group? Also, simply because of epilepsy, do you notice people with epilepsy relate to you any differently as compared to people who don't have epilepsy. I'm not talking about anything as far as BBW like you worded it. I'm simply talking about others of any size or sex who like yourself have epilepsy. There are 3,000,000 of us with epilepsy in just the United States. Take care, keep a smile on your face.
> >
> > Steve
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
> > >
> > >
> > > The only problem here is that all my life, I never befriended Slim,Slender,
> > > Thus when it comes to friends all of my friends are actually BBWs of whom I've met at many BBW sites on the computers and clubs in the City. 170 people on my yahoo messenger, all BBWs. What has been and what would become a problem for me if one woman was to settle and want me, would be that unlike other guys who have male friends, mine are all Woman. And I'm a very supportive friend. You can complain, Vent, or even if you wake up in the middle of the night with an issue,I'm here to help, even if I have to go out of state to reach the person.
> > > You may ask why don't I have men friends? I have yet to meet any man who shares my interests. Calligraphy, CATS, BBWs, Landscaping, etc... Maybe that also has something to do with growing up in a mostly african american community where their interests are limited to mostly sports,music, and not much else. I'm a mixture of Irish,Scottish, Cherokee and Choctaw indian. Through the years I've struggled to figure out what my true identity is. Most people will say african american, some say mixed, but all I can say is mixed. Both grandfathers are Irish and Scottish both grandmas are Indian. So that has no connection with the continent africa at all. I am just introverted thats all and I call the people I know day and night. some conversations go as long as 6 hrs. A lot of the women I help seem to want me as more than a friend, but then I can't just cross everyone off just because of one person. Thats why I'm always reading books about relationships
> > >
> > > Housekat / Kevin Knight
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
> > > >
> > > > Hi Kevin,
> > > >
> > > > There are epilepsy support groups just about everywhere, at least in
> > > > the US. Go through your local Epilepsy Foundation, neurology clinic
> > > > or Epilepsy Advocate to find what is close to you.
> > > >
> > > > Women are also afraid of rejection, as rejection can come from either
> > > > gender, you know:) You have to be willing to take risks in order to
> > > > find love. It might be easier to stay in your home alone, but I don't
> > > > think it could be as fulfilling as having a lifelong partner, someone
> > > > who loves you just for who you are. I've had my heart broken a few
> > > > times, but I've also been with my husband for 26 years (Wow! half of
> > > > my life now), not counting the years we dated. We've been through all
> > > > kinds of problems, but also through some wonderful times together,
> > > > and we know we have each other to depend on, no matter what. I'll
> > > > give you that many people never have a solid marriage like that, but
> > > > since I think our reason for being here is to love and be loved, I
> > > > think that loving people in whatever capacity one can is the best
> > > > thing one can do, both for our own personal fulfillment and for others.
> > > >
> > > > You asked what woman would accept a man who has many friends? I would
> > > > and do. My three daughters all do, as do their boyfriends and
> > > > spouses. Pretty much every one I know who is in a relationship also
> > > > has at least several friends. Sometimes the couples have friends in
> > > > common and do things together as a couple with these friends.
> > > > Sometimes, like my husband, the guy has his geek friends, hunting
> > > > buddies, fishing buddies, golfing buddies, etc. and the woman is just
> > > > really happy that she doesn't have to feign interest in a passion
> > > > that she doesn't share. And that goes both directions. Say you want
> > > > to go shoe shopping or clothes shopping and just watch a guy's eyes
> > > > roll. Either that, or they get that deer in the headlights look, as
> > > > they imagine waiting for hours while holding their girl's purse
> > > > outside the fitting room.:) We need a number of people in our lives,
> > > > not just one, although that one person may be central to our
> > > > happiness. In fact, I would say that any relationship where one
> > > > person doesn't want their partner to have other friends is a very
> > > > unhealthy relationship. You frequently see that in abusive
> > > > relationships, for example.
> > > >
> > > > That said, I was suggesting that you get out in the community in some
> > > > way and make some connections with other people. That in itself can
> > > > be rewarding, and it may ultimately lead to some good friendships and
> > > > perhaps even to finding one special person. I have one suggestion,
> > > > given your talent for growing things. In my area, people are really
> > > > getting into the sustainability movement, eating locally, etc. You
> > > > could grow vegetables to donate to your local food pantry, get a
> > > > community garden started with other interested people, or something
> > > > along those lines. A group of us are working with our local Unitarian
> > > > church, who has given us space for a garden on their property. We are
> > > > growing veggies with the intent of donating them to our food pantry,
> > > > so that those with lower incomes can also enjoy some tasty, fresh,
> > > > locally grown produce. There are also programs where they are
> > > > teaching people in the city to do gardening to supplement their food,
> > > > either in containers, in their yards, even on their rooftops or
> > > > garage rooftops. I think this kind of thing is very exciting and
> > > > something you'd be really good at. If you are interested in hearing
> > > > more, contact me and I'll send you some links, etc.
> > > >
> > > > You sound somewhat content with your situation, but I think that if
> > > > you were truly satisfied with being solo with your pets and home, you
> > > > most likely wouldn't have sought out people in the form of this list.
> > > > Feel free to tell me that I'm wrong if you disagree:) It sounds like
> > > > you have some wonderful talents with regard to gardening and
> > > > landscape design, and that would make a great part or full-time
> > > > business for you if you were interested in doing so. You are
> > > > intelligent, witty and have a lot going for you. Not every woman
> > > > measures a man by stereotypical ideas of masculinity, or looks for
> > > > perfection. It's just a coincidence, but I've dated a man who was
> > > > deaf in one ear and my husband is blind in one eye. Those things
> > > > don't matter one jot. What matters is that they were(are) funny,
> > > > intelligent, and warm men who give from their hearts. Gosh, I'm
> > > > suddenly feeling really sentimental.
> > > >
> > > > Hugs from your friend,
> > > > Tammy
> > > >
> > >
> >
>
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