My husband is wonderful with dealing with my seizures. The first few he was around scared the tar out of him, but now he's the one that tells everyone to just relax and that I'm not in any pain. He's now my medical power of attorney because the local ambulance insists on taking me to the hospital if I'm out when they get there and the hospital insists on giving me a medication they KNOW I'm allergic to. "Uninsured epileptics get X." They just bring in the epi-pen and benedryl drip at the same time they bring the medicine. With him as my POA, they can't do it without his permission, which he won't give.
Doug is very supportive of me. He encourages me in anything I want to do. He's been there while I wrote books. He's purchased hundreds of dollars in supplies when I took up jewelry making. Now he stops at curbs and brings home any wood furniture he sees since I've started refinishing furniture. If I dare to try it, he's there to support me in it... For the most part.
My seizures are not really all that controlled. For ME they are. Since we started on the newest combination I've had only an average of three a week daytime. Because of this and a history of stubborn refusal to accept limitations, he still won't turn the gas stove back on. A few minor fires and he's showing that he's far more stubborn than I am. I'm also required to promise daily that I won't take a bath until he gets home. I hate that one even though I know it's because he's fished me out a few times.
He also accepts the limitations I put on myself. If I'm not feeling well I don't choose to face the public. He doesn't make me. We take things at my pace. Perhaps you tried to rush this man faster than he was comfortable with. You just can't go from limited to normal in a moment. If he's not comfortable with something, try a smaller step. Your first tightrope is usually all of 4-6 inches off the ground. A lot less scary to face. Instead of trying to throw him 40' up without a net (aka. pushing him into a situation he has NO experience with) start out slower. It takes a while, but by gradually stretching our boundaries we find out where they really are. Its much better than dancing out there and finding out you can't do it and falling flat.
Sky
--- In epilepsy@yahoogroup
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> First I would like to share with you guys that I am not an epileptic however,I am in full support of the people like you that have this condition and have had your ups and downs with it. My questions is how many of you are married or in serious committed relationships and also how do you keep your relationship or marriage strong along with dealing with you or your spouses epilepsy. This is very important to me because I met a wonderful guy online who has epilepsy and we tried to bond and see if we could get closer and have a relationship. I thought that we would be a regular couple like everyone else "we" just have this condition called epilepsy that we have to deal with from time to time.Unfortunately he had led a very sheltered and dominate life from his parents and family and because he has had it since birth (we are both in our 50's) he was raised as if he was retarded always told what he could'nt do no encouragement or affection. I saw him in a totally different light he is handsome, very intelligent, and very handy around the house. His seizures are very well under control his problem is the emotional effects of his raisings. I love him dearly and we are still best friends and I miss what we had. But he saw my encouragement as being bossy and pushy because I wanted him to know there's a whole world out there that he's letting get by him without trying to shed all the hurts and pains from his childhood. Has anyone been through this and how did you deal with it? I've tried to let go of him but can't he will always be very special to me forever. All comments welcome.
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